I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
