What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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