Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize