Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
