Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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