New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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