got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
