Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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