My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
