Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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