I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
