I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
