you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
