I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize