Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
