She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
