I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
