Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
