im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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