Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
