i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize