What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
