well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Randomize
