She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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