i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
