RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
