im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
