I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
