Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
