dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
This toilet bowl is my home.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
