I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
