The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
