she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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