She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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