I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
