I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
