I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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