Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
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