summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Randomize