the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
and you fell through a lawn chair
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
