her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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