I want to walk on stilts...naked
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize