Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
