when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
The beer is more important than you right now.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
