Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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