I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
