going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
