Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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