she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize