Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
