so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Two words: blizzard sex
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
