you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
