Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
