Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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