once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
