remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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