He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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