There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
