i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize