woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize