Will you blow on my dice?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
