She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize