You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
