sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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