What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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