your room smells of hookers.
And success
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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