3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I need moral support for this bender
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
