he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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