White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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