Do you still have your period?
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
