Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
