I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
