Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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