doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
